lola

*i did not have any plans of writing about my lola but she came out of her room just now while i am surfing the net. i assisted her and brought her back to bed. as i was bidding her goodnight, she touched my face and kissed me on the cheeks. i was so touched.

picture of lola taken last christmas


i am the eldest apo in my dad's side of the family. as such, among us cousins, i had the most memories of my lola.

i remember when i was in prep and my mom was abroad and could not go home for my graduation, it was lola who pinned my medal on me. she was so proud of me that day.

i remember when i was in grade 1 and i wanted to have my own business, it was lola who financed my undertaking. she gave me P5.00 to buy cracker cornik (parang nagaraya cracker nuts pero cornik yung laman) from the cornik factory near our house. then she bought plastic bags, took her weighing scale out of the cupboards, and then commisioned our helpers to help the two of us repack the cornik so i can sell the repacked corniks in school. i sold a lot!

whenever i did not like our ulam at home, i would go to lola's house and eat there. actually, whenever i was hungry, i would go to her and ask for food. she never ran out of biscuits and bananas.

i remember playing in her night dresser day in and out, putting together my secret potion - a mixture of baby powder, baby lotion, baby oil, and rubbing alcohol. to my eight year old mind, i believed that my secret mixture would give me magic if i can only bury underground or keep it in a deep dark place for a couple of months.

i remember lola giving me P100 on christmas and my birthdays. this started when i was still in kinder and went on until i was 19 or 20 (yeah, hindi na rin lumaki, P100 lang talaga!).

i remember when she learned that she i was getting my own room, she gave me a bed cover she made for me. she saw and embroidered it herself.

i remember her praying the rosary everyday. i remember her teaching me how to pray the Lord's Prayer in spanish. i remember her teaching me another prayer in spanish to be prayed when there is a strong typhoon.

i remember when i was in 1st year high school and i had a fight with my dad, i ran away from home. i did not hesitate, did not even look back! i proudly walked out of our house and went straight to my lola's house a couple of doors away. (hahaha! akala niyo ang layo noh!) it was 11 p.m. i knocked and woke my lolo and my lola up. i remember sleeping beside my lola that night [my lolo slept in the living room to give me his side of the bed. i miss my lolo. :(].

i remember lola being so full of life.

but now, all these are just distant memories. you see, my lola is 90 now (turning 91 a couple of weeks from now) and she isn't as strong as she used to be. whereas i used to be her favorite apo, she can't even recognize me now. everyday, she would always ask the helpers who i am and then she would smile when she is told that i am "Ging".

when i told her that i am getting married, she asked me who i was marrying and then expressed that she wanted to meet my fiance. although she forgot that she already met jojie (interviewed him in fact when i introduced him to her), i was still pleased that she was able to grasp what i was saying about me getting married. the moment i turned my back, though, i heard her asking the helper who i was.

i love my lola and i haven't even realized how much i love her until now. it hurts me so much to see her this way. how i wish i could bring back time so i could spend more time with her and tell her just how much i love her and how much i appreciate all that she done for me.