career dilemma part 2 - the solution

realized that i really will not be able to hold an 8am to 5pm job. with the load of the coordination business... we have 15 weddings pa this year... yeah i know it's not much but believe me, with the work that coordination entails, okay na sa akin yang ganyang load. isa pa, i'm also doubling as a homemaker (something which i have been neglecting the past few weeks because of coordination), as jojie's executive assistant (for his company and believe me, this takes a lot of my time!), and as a graduate student. so yeah, okay na yung load na yun. in fact, pag nagtatanong yung ibang friend-photographers namin, nagugulat sila na may ganung booking na raw kami considering that march lang kami nag-start. super thankful talaga ako dito.

but i have also realized that i don't want to just do coordination. i really want to do something psych-related. actually, one of my w@wie clients asked me if i'll be able to accept referrals for counseling pain patients/clients but i told her that i'd be more confident if i'll just refer her to someone. una, hindi ko talaga kaya ang regular hours. kahit na hindi naman ganun ka-regular yun, weekly sched pa rin yun. second and most important, kahit gaano pa ako ka-feeling magaling sa counseling, pang-clinical psych yung ganung level and i wouldn't want to shortchange her patients. so what i did was to refer her to someone i know who would be able to do a better job.

so, ano na ang gagawin ko? i want like the one i did in july... i don't think i was bale to blog about that. i facilitated workshops for freshmen students in ateneo for 3 saturdays. it was fun. i was able to do something i really enjoy (to be in front of the classroom), at the same time, hindi super stressful (except for the fact that i had to be there at 730 in the morning) at okay naman yung pay.

so since gusto ko psych-related pero hindi regular, ang hirap tuloy. then, ma'am vina came to the resuce!!! ma'am vina was one of my supervisors before. i never worked directly under her but since she sorta owned the clinic i was affiliated with, boss ko siya. she texted me the other day and asked me if i was interested in accpeting clients for psychological testing. of course i said yes!!! this way, hindi ako mase-stress, magagawa ko yung coordination, makakapag-train pa rin ako sa psych testing, a field which i'm really interested in. hindi pa kami nakakapag-usap since then but my mom said tumawag na daw siya sa bahay ng parents ko asking for my new landline. haaay! excited na ako!

metrowalking

i have a new hangout! i'm here at starbucks metrowalk right now. they also offer wi-fi so no prob there. pag may wi-fi kasi ibig sabihin the branch management allows people to plug in their laptops. i like it here more coz it's near to jojie's office (his office is in tektite) so it's easier for us to coordinate our sched.


***

sonny belmonte, the mayor of QC, is seating across from me. i'm not usually starstruck you know but i love this guy! i like what he's doing for QC. kakatuwa!

***

jojie and i have a scheduled massage later and i'm so definitely looking forward to it! super tagal na nung last na massage namin. actually nag-expire na nga mga massage certificates namin eh! hehe! buti na lang our suking therapist, zeny (i so love this girl! magaling mag-alaga!) extended the expiration date of the certs. also, when we bought the certs, she gave us one free cert! bait no?! hay! sana 7pm na para massage na.

:)

chocolates = happiness :)

have you seen the new hershey's chocolates commercial? they equate hershey's with happiness. the chocolate bar they show on t.v., instead of having the word HERSHEY'S, has the word HAPPINESS written on the bar itself.

i was never hooked on chocolates. in fact, when papa would buy chocolates, he would only buy for himself and my brother. sila lang kasi ang mahilig talaga sa chocolates sa amin. they wouldn't share! ang dami nilang bibilhin tapos itatago nila! hahaha!

but things changed when i was feeling down a couple of weeks ago. i can remember that i felt so stressed out that i wanted to pop a pill! as in iniisip ko na kung paano ako makakabili ng prozac! haha! i was worried that i called candice, my super duper Maid of Honor and one of my closest friends who happens to be a doctor, to ask for help. yun nga lang, hindi raw siya pwedeng mag-prescribe ng prozac kasi hindi siya licensed for that. si inch daw, another barkada of ours, yung pwede (inch kasi is a psychiatry resident whole candice is planning to go into pedia). not that candice was also willing to give me prozac (ano ba yun!?!) but she asked me questions and tried to determine where my feeling was coming from. in the end, we both agreed that it was just hormones. so what candice and cris (candice's friend who's also a doctor) advised me was to eat chocolates. it's a natural high-enducer kasi. eh syempre masunurin ako so pinapak ko yung nuttela. shucks! ang sarap! ang sarap-sarap-sarap talaga!!!

and from then on, super hooked na ako on chocolates! sh**! i know i will super duper gain weight because of this (when i told inch about it, sabi niya effective nga yung chocolate pero tigilan ko na raw! hahaha!) but i can't right now. chocolates are just so good! the other night, i had a bar of cadbury hazelnut. yday, i had a bar of cadbury's roasted almonds for bfast. today, since paubos na yung stash ko, i had to make tipid so inabot ng until after lunch yung dairy milk bar. bukod pa yan sa mcdo choco sundae at kung anu-ano pa na kinakain ko pag nasa labas! geesh! it's becoming so bad! waaaahhh! hahaha!

o sige, gotta go. want to drop by mcdonald's before my meeting later to have a milkshake! mwehehehe!

:)

career dilemmas at pangungulit ng magulang

i find it so weird that after a couple of years of hoping to land a job with a university (yun nga lang puro hope ako at hindi naman nag-a-apply! hahaha!) and then finally deciding to postpone my career in psych to give way to coordination, offers and interviews poured in! (hehehe! mayabang ako eh! feeling ko pag-in-interview ako, good as tanggap na ako! mwahahahaha!)

last may, the head of the ateneo college guidance office contacted me and offered me a job in his department. although i wanted the job coz it would be a good learning opportunity and ateneo isn't so far away, i told him i couldn't accept it because of my events coordination business. nagulat nga ata siya eh kasi he knew how much i wanted to train to be a really good psychologist.

then one month after, DLSU-CSB contacted me for a job interview. isa pa yun, it has been my dream to work in de la salle. una, mataas sweldo! hahaha! pangalawa, i want access to their library. you see, i already hace access to both UP and ateneo libraries so i need access na lang to the dlsu lib para complete ko na. mwehehehe! nahahalatang sobrang nerd ko! but then again, i had to turn that down. of course, because of cooridnation.

then a couple of weeks ago, the dean of FEU-FERN called. i have a scheduled meeting daw with her for a job. weird no? never naman ako nag-apply. syempre, had to turn it down again. okay naman yung FEU kasi ma-okay naman ang benefits nila for their faculty at saka university pa rin yun.

dito sa last na job interview na ito, hindi na nakatiis ang magulang ko at pinagsabihan na ako. our conversation went like this:

Mama: Anak, tumawag raw ung Dean ng FEU sa iyo?
Ako: Oo daw po, ma. jan daw sa bahay. Tapos nag-text at nagpapa-return call.
(In the bground - Papa: Sinabihan ko nga siyang tanggapin niya na eh)
Mama: Eh bakit ayaw mo? Anak, maganda naman ang FEU kasi competitive naman ang faculty salary nila.
Ako: Ma, eh kung mag-e-FEU na lang ako, eh di dapat nag-Ateneo na lang ako.
Mama: Oo nga, mas maganda Ateneo. Eh bakit mo nga ba tinanggihan yun?
Ako: Kasi po full time yung hinahanap nila, eh hindi ko naman kayang mag-full time. *notice that i never mention coordinating here as a reason coz my parents are not really happy with my decision to go into coordinating and to postpone my "promising" career! hehe! instead, the reason i give them why i can't have a full-time job is because of jojie's workload, which is actually true, you know.*
Mama: Ah oo nga pala. Pero ayaw mo nito?
Ako: Ma, eh di kung FEU, eh di dapat nag-CSB na lang ako.
Mama: CSB? Bakit? Tumawag din ba sa iyo yung CSB?
Ako: (ooops!) Oo di ba? Di ba sa iyo binanggit ni Papa? Alam niya yun eh. *hehe! sinisi ko pa papa ko!*
Mama: Eh bakit hindi mo kinuha?
Ako: Ha? Eh full time din eh. Tsaka counseling, hindi teaching. Eh ayoko namang mag-counseling sa school, di ba?
Mama: Ay oo nga pala...

... then, thankfully, we drifted to other topics.


i just find all these so weird! parang kung kelan naman, i'm more or less settled na with coordination, jan naman dumarating yang mga yan. so i asked bernard tuloy to sit with me and talk things over. so we sat and discussed what i really want to do with my life. and after more or less an hour of talking, we were just able to clarify one thing, finishing my thesis is non-negotiable. As for the rest... like how long should I do coordination or should I still pursue PhD like what I've always dreamt of doing or should I still target teaching or should I still open a clinic or should I just really stay at home... well, we'll just play things by ear. For now, I enjoy what I'm doing and that's what matters.

:)

aray!

10:57 am

just before i start working on our team's task assignment for our next wedding, just need to blog about this.

i'm here at starbucks valero right now, waiting for jojie to finish with his Ayala Land meeting. syempre ang dami dami kong dala, yung bag ko, yung laptop ko, yung laptop ni jojie... kasi pag nawala sa sa kotse baka sakalin ako ng asawa ko kasi sa kalsada lang ako naka-park so kelangan kong dalhin lahat. sa sobrang dami, parang mukha akong hilong talilong. anyway, after 5 long minutes, i was finally able to arrange my table with the laptop and food then i turned my head quickly towards the road (i was seating by the glass window)... shit! naumpog yung ulo ko sa satrbucks sign! alam niyo yun, yung malaking sign, as in yung malaking sign talaga na naka-hang! aray ang sakit! of course, all the baristas and the guard turned to me. akala ko nga nabasag ko yung sign eh! hahaha!
yun lang. trabaho na ako.

shit! ang sakit pa rin! hahaha!

---

1:27pm

i'm now in seattle's best in eastwood. haaay! parang iniisa-isa ko na naman ang coffee shops sa pilipinas. i was supposed to go to heritage today after jojie's meeting in makati (see above) kaya lang the money wasn't remitted in time by the money transfer agent of my client so wala sa akin yung money. i thought of making abono kaya lang i realized that yung fund ko for abono ay ubos na kasi di pa naki-clear yung checks nung last na inabonohan ko kaya wag muna. talked to heritage. next week na lang.

decided to stay here in eastwood na (after jojie's meeting) kasi will have food tasting with josiah's later with one of our clients. josiah's food is good so i'm pretty sure things will be okay. i'm supposed to also have a food tasting on sunday, sa josiah's din kaya lang may prior appointment na ako. sayang! hahaha! on the other hand, the prior appointment is also a food tasting, with VS&F naman. haaay! di na natapos ang food tasting! mwahahaha!

so there... will get back to work na.

:)

pagtitipid and cuisine everyday?

i'm planning to make chicken curry later for dinner (wanted beef or shrimp curry but we don't have beef nor shrimp so back to good old chicken) and since i'm on a bree van de kamp phase (more on this later), i told myself that chicken curry is not enough. so i browsed through my indian recipe book (yup, i have an indian recipe book!) and tried to look for a dish i can pair up with curry. hay! wala akong mahanap! my problem lies with the spices. i can handle cumin and turmeric but what the hell is garam masala or asafoetida? sabi ko na nga ba, i should have gone to the specialty Indian food stores muna para i could have bought stocks. anyway, so for now, my indian cookbok will remain on the shelf until i can gather those out-of-the-world ingredients it's talking about.

for dinner, if i can muster enough sipag, then i can drop by the supermarket to buy additional ingredients and i'll just make tom yang. :)

anyway... it's 10:44 am and i'm already planning what's for dinner. since i'm home alone for lunch on weekdays, i just have a sandwich or i just open anything canned or i have a salad but i try to make nice dinners. actually, this "cuisine-for-dinner-everyday" phase started just a while ago. you see, jojie and i realized that we've been spending so much on eating out. at first, it didn't bother me. si jojie and matipid eh so siya ung nagwo-worry dun. what he would do is to limit what we order na lang para maka-tipid. like for example, in Terikaki Boy, instead of ordering teriyaki boy chicken don, gyu yakiniku don, california maki, kani salad, and iced tea like we used to do, we'll go for just the chicken don and the gyu don. at first, ayoko kasi feeling ko dapat maraming ino-order para masaya (haha!)but then, i realized na pareho lang pala yung level of satiation ko with or without the add-ons so sige na nga. isa pa, because of stress, i've been throwing up a lot lately so honestly, hindi ko na rin kayang kumain ng marami (sana lang mag-reflect na soon sa dress size ko! haha!).

and then, one time i saw this oprah episode which featured this newly married couple mired in debt. they've been married for only 3 months and already, they're in a $50,000 credit card debt! juice ko! hindi ko ata kaya yun. pag nangyari yun sa amin, baka makalbo ang asawa ko sa stress! the episode got me thinking. we should really try to save! for now, we're living within our means naman (hindi papayag si jojie to live beyond our means! away yun pag ginawa ko yun!) but i realized that we can save a lot by just dining out once a week or so (for the past couple of months, we've been dining out, on the average 4x a week). so i decided to have a conscious effort to eat at home instead of dining out. but then, the problem lies in my way of thinking... you see, if we just eat canned goods and prito-prito everyday, feeling ko kawawa naman ang asawa ko. i know that's a stupid thought and i don't mean any offense to families who have canned goods and fried food everyday pero ayoko lang ng ganun. (yeah, i admit, i do that whenever i'm tamad but i really try to cook nice dishes, you know). thank god we can afford to buy ingredients for dishes that i like to try na alam kong kaartehan lang. dun talaga super grateful ako kay god sa mga blessings kaya lalo natinag yung resolve ko na wag umabuso. :)

so yun na nga, i told myself i'll just cook every night pero hindi puro prito. so now i experiment every night. basta i think of ways na masarap yung dinner. this way, i get to enjoy cooking. i may not be the best cook but i really enjoy cooking. the other night, we had grilled liempo, garlic rice, and salad. ang winner dito i made the salad dressing myself. i made strawberry vinaigrette (sp?) and ang sarap! i was so proud of myself! :) last night we had bologna (good! pero dahil si jojie ang kakain, dapat pinoy style, read: matamis, at hindi italian na maasim), oatmeal chicken (just so-so), and coleslaw. yummy!

and you know what's the best part is? i have realized that ang laki talaga ng natitipid pag kumakain dito sa bahay! for example, for our dinner the other night, yung grilled liempo, ang breakdown nun was:

liempo: P100 (jojie's cousin was supposed to have dinner with us kasi so i cooked 3pcs liempo)
additional ingredients for the liempo: approx P15
garlic rice: approx P5.00
salad: P13.00 for the green lettuce, P12.50 for the mango, P4.00 for the tomato, and approx P16.00 for the dressing.

total is P165.00! which is equivalent to 1 order of chicken don in teriyaki boy or 1 order of crispy tadyang ng baka in crocodile. i was really amazed!!! yung lagay na yan, malaki pa yan for a dinner at home kasi nga madami pa ako arte. ang galing di ba? so everytime i have a hard time washing the dishes afterwards, i just remind myself na ang laki ng natipid ko, nag-enjoy ako sa pagluluto, and nag-enjoy kami ni jojie dining together at our home on our starbucks-look-alike table. :)

so back to dinner for tonight, i'll have chicken curry. i'm debating whether to have bagoong rice or not kasi parang over na sa lasa. what do you think? then i'll just have soup, kung hindi man tom yang, i'll be sure to whip something up. :)

need focus

i'm home alone. i'm supposed to be working... have lots of things to do... inquiries to be replied to, budgets to be done, suppliers to call, etc.... but i just can't focus right now. jojie has the car today so i can't even go out. i'm thawing ground beef coz i'm planning to make spaghetti for dinner but even the thought of cooking isn't cheering me up. there's desperate housewives on tv but i don't even want to watch. hmmm... what's happening to me kaya? jojie is having a luncheon presentation with a client so i can't even call him. haaaay! siguro side effect ito of this medication i'm taking right now.