mara

(background: i worked as a guidance counselor in assumption san lorenzo for a couple of years. i handled one batch, 181 students. they were the sweetest girls ever. i loved them and i loved my work but there came a time when i was starting to hate going to work everyday, not because of my girls, in fact, they were the ones who sustained me, but because i felt too stifled by their system that i opted to resign. also, i was going to start my practicum for my masters and i knew that if i did not resign, i would not be able to finish my practicum.)

one of my former students sent me a message through text this afternoon. the message said that she, mara, remembered me and so she texted to say hi. i always get excited whenever one of my former students text me. siguro kasi i miss them so very much! =) so i replied; said hi and asked her how she was. she said she was okay and then she said that the reason she was texting really was because she wanted to apologize. i was so surprised! i could not remember a single incident she needs to apologize for so i asked her why. she said that she got angry at me when i left and that was the reason why she did not talk to me when i went to assumption to visit them. i got teary-eyed when i read her message. although i knew that some of my students felt bad when i left, nobody told me straight out how they felt. some just asked questions like, "ms. clarice, bakit niyo kami iniwan?" or "miss naman, can't you go back?" sabi naman ni mara she now understands that things probably were for the best. still, that does not erase the fact that i knew she felt betrayed when i left. i felt so bad knowing that i hurt my students when being their counselor was one of the most meaningful things i have done in my life.