on leaving home - part 2

note: part 1 can be found here.

i went home to my parents today to get the car and some other stuff. my dad was in the garage, tinkering with his bike, when i arrived. i kissed him hello and went straight to the kitchen to get the "stuff". as i passed the dining table, i notived that the table was already set for lunch. and since i am now married, the table was set for just one - just for my dad.

i cried when i saw the lone plate on the table. with me not living at home anymore, it's just my dad home all day long (we have a build-and-sell business. since my dad is in between projects right now, he just stays at home while waiting for the next.). i wold have stayed if i could but with jojie going to a meeting (although he called in sick, he had an important meeting he had to attend to), i had to rush home.

it pained me so much to realize that by marrying jojie, i've left my family. siguro nga it's the way things are just supposed to happen. alangan namang hindi ako magpakasal forever but it just hurts so much.

i cried while driving home. and when my mom called me after lunch, i told her how i felt. syempre i cried uli (and syempre i'm crying while writing this now, here in the middle of pasig city hall). sabi ni mama, "okay lang yun. ganun lang talaga, anak."

i didn't expect that it would be this difficult to leave my family. everybody kept telling me before how exciting and trying married life would be but no one mentioned anything about being "homesick". siguro kakaiba ako. siguro hindi naman lahat ng nagpapakasal at lumilipat ng bahay ganito. how i wish i could be with jojie and still be with my parents. but i know that i have to live my new life -- the life i have chosen. i also know that the greatest way i can repay my family for the life they have given me is to uphold the values i was taught and to make sure my marriage succeeds and to raise good, God-fearing kids.

ang hirap pala! kaya pala sabi nila mahirap raw ang pag-aasawa. hindi lang yung mga pagbabago ng meron ka nang bagong kasama sa buhay pero pati yung pakikipaghiwalay sa pamilya mo. oh well! with jojie, my mom, and my dad behind me, alam ko kaya ko ito. i embrace my new life with confidence, baon ko lahat ng turo sa akin ng mga magulang ko.